I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
