her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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