a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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