Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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