my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
