somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
