May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
