i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
