no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
