the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
