**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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