dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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