He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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