I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
