thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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