im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
this hospital has no fireball
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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