Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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