how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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