I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
