Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
