Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
