i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
