u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The power of my boobs compel you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
