I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
