I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
