Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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