Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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