dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Blood and glitter go together right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
