if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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