I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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