I want to have your abortion
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
