he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
