he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
3 2 1 whiskey
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize