I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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