She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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