what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pooping to opera.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
