You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
