man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
