i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
