I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize