I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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