By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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