drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
