so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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