I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
