he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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