you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
