So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
