I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
