I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
