i think my tv is drunk
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize