I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
