he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
