One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
