You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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