Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
