your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
