i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
