i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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