Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
