worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
