Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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