Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
