conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
