I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize