Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize