PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
