Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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